I have finished nothing. I have been feeling extremely uninspired for the last couple of days. I do not want to do anything, make anything or even mend anything. I am content reading books and looking at pretty pictures. At first I tried to fight it. I knit swatches and drew up charts. I even cast on for something I had designed and after knitting the first 12 rows (176 stitch rows) I ripped it all out and gave up. I realized there was nothing wrong with that. I am having the crafter’s version of writer’s block. Can I call it crafter’s block? It doesn’t feel like a block. It feels more like a lump.
I even don’t feel like taking pictures. That for me is really strange. Long before Instagram, flickr and my “big” camera I would take pictures. It is like my own version of a diary. There are many days when I don’t feel like talking much or writing, but I always love documenting things with the lens. I sometimes joke that if I died today there would be no proof of my existence. No one takes pictures of me. But to be honest, my pictures are proof of my life.
I realized that I was feeling pressures to make the perfect thing. And then I started thinking, why do I even make stuff? Who am I? Who do I want to be? I am having existential arguments with myself.
Yet, I managed to do create new headers for the blog, do you like them?
I need to take a few steps back and look at the big picture and redesign my life too.